Monday, March 30, 2009

I've Discovered How To Time Travel!!

Not all of you know this, but I originally went to college as an engineer. Now I didn't graduate as an engineer, but I stuck it out for a year and a half before switching to a less physics-intensive area of study. Throughout this period of approximately 18 months, I went through more physics and chemistry courses than any human should ever be subjected to. If you're looking for a quick test to see if you've also been subjected to one too many physics lectures then ask yourself this question: "What do I associate with the words 'red rectangle'?" Go ahead, ask yourself...

If you thought of this, then you're OK! No need to worry about your mental well-being any longer:

Just to show you how to fail this test, this is what comes to my mind when I ask myself the same question:

Now some of you might be asking why this is relevant. Well, it just so happens that my physics background finally paid off. I've stumbled upon something that could revolutionize the way we contemplate the current space-time view of the universe. I've discovered how to time travel! The Carpvano household has managed to warp back in time approximately 15 years! It's truly amazing!!

And for the doubters out there who say that this just isn't possible given current technologies and theories of our physical world, I submit to you this picture:

Dial-up internet!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


We finally found an apartment that we both liked and only narrowly avoided slumming it in a shag carpet stink-fest had we not found this place. It's small, but brand new and nice. It has key appliances such as a stacked washer/dryer, dishwasher and garbage disposal which saves us the annoying trips to the laundromat. It also has radiant floor heating, so your feet are toasty warm when you step out of the shower in the morning (well, that's what the idea is but when you're feeling low on cash and the heat is not exactly cranked then your feet are just mildly warm when you get out of the shower in the morning. Okay, I'm just trying to save face here, they're pretty much cold still). BUT when we do get some sort of regular cash flow again THEN our feet will be toasty.

So we have an address. That's good because most employers like that.

Speaking of which, I have a job a proud employee of the U.S. Department of Commerce, which just so happens to be the department housing the U.S. Census Bureau, which is constitutionally bound to perform a census in 2010 and was hiring for temporary positions in Anchorage, which just so happens to be where I'm actually working. US CENSUS 2010!! BE COUNTED!


Eric Carpenter
U.S. Census Bureau

Sunday, March 1, 2009

1/2 Way to Finding An Apartment

Sorry, I'm milking the whole "1/2 way" in the blog title thing for all it's worth. I almost guarantee that this will be my last uncreative title including "1/2" in it. (Almost guarantee was Mary's phrase made famous when we were in PA. I've taken a liking to it since it means I can't be held responsible when my guarantee isn't met - which, for those of you who know me, happens often. This is very similar to a "Sharp Guarantee", for those of you from Los Angeles).

Anyways, we landed a few days ago in Anchorage and are still swaying from being on a ship for 6 days. Apartment hunting has been so so thus far and our "We're in Anchorage!!" excitement has been seriously challenged by the lack of fun neighborhoods and reasonably priced apartments, aka we're still looking for a place. Luckily, Karate Kid was on ABC Family yesterday morning to lift our spirits and give us some much needed motivation to defeat our own abusive peer, relative homelessness.

To be honest, I'm a little disappointed in Anchorage at first glance. I mean, you're so far away from the lower 48 and all of it's homogeny that you'd hope for some more character...something other than the chain stores and sprawl that characterize most American cities. And yet, that's precisely what you find in the majority of Anchorage. Costco, Safeway (under the Carrs brand), Lowe's, Fred Meyer, Play it Again Sports, REI...I could go on. I'm not sure why I expected it to be different, I just did. I just expected people up here to have more local pride, being that Alaskans so far tend to love all things Alaskan. It's like I was expecting to land in San Francisco and I ended up in Oakland, or substitute Seattle -> get the point.

So what's the solution to my expectations bubble being popped? A moose on the loose!

Picture taken from our car while apartment hunting. It had just crossed through a main intersection...people just sat around waiting for it to meander on by and then went on with their lives while Mary laughed hysterically.

At least Anchorage has that going for it. Mountains are pretty too :)