Survival Skills

There's a lot to learn about living in the extreme cold...especially when you're from a corner of the nation where the only people with 4-wheel drive vehicles are flatbillers with west coast chopper tattoos or anyone who feels like wasting a couple thousand bucks on something they'll never use. In other words, if you're from San Diego chances are you don't know what to do when things start to freeze, unless of course they're freezing because you put them in the freezer to preserve freshness, shelf life or so that you don't have to throw your leftovers...then you'll probably know what to do with it, like throw it out when you don't eat it after 4 years and your ground beef now looks like a gallon zip-lock filled with brown snow cone, except that it has "Ground Beef Jan '05" scribbled in black sharpie on the label.

But, I digress...

Back to the original topic. Living in the extreme cold.

So far in MN I've learned:

• How to keep water from freezing in my gas tank/fuel line
• How to ignore 'Service Engine Soon' lights in the winter. Soon is a relative term after all.
  
• How to gain weight "just in case" I need it later
• How to not freak out when my truck slides into the snow-filled ditch in the middle of the interstate
• How to avoid going outside when it's just too cold and to eat rhubarb pie and ice cream in the safety of a heated home instead.
  

My most recent lesson focused on ice fishing. If I could conquer this simple exercise, my source of food would be secured in the event of an emergency and I'd be able to live another day.

Well, I must be doing something wrong because I've been out ice fishing three times now and haven't even had a fish sniff my bait. The kid at the bait shop said that the fish just aren't biting right now, but I think that's crap. I think ice fishing is a joke that Minnesotans like to play on Californians...a pretty funny joke too I might add. It's right up there with the ol' Coot freezing in the lake bit, which I'm proud to say that I didn't fall for. Ha, I'm not that gullible...I'm not going to believe EVERYTHING you tell me about the cold.

Congratulations on the ice fishing one though. You sure got me good.